the audacity to hope

Wednesday, January 25, 2012
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....it is not possible to change the way i feel about God.
When i delve into His love, i feel alive, loved and whole.
It's undeniable.

In His presence, i am made new.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012
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.......TRUE STORY

Thursday, January 12, 2012
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On my way here i decided that i will probably wind up marrying someone i can live with, not someone i can't live without. And the best thing is, i am actually going to feel alright about it. I can go through the motions, devoid of emotions for ten, twenty, or even thirty years. I can do the dishes for someone i don't love. I can make a living with someone i don't feel for. It will be easy to sink into that sort of a routine. Passion is not what sustains us, my friend - it is Love that keeps us going. What is our time on this earth anyway? It means nothing. It is minutely insignificant in the greater and grander scheme of things.

Perhaps I wasn't made to feel the way others feel. I was made to be alone, but not unLoved.

Saturday, January 07, 2012
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Thank you, chloe

Tuesday, January 03, 2012
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“We live in time - it holds us and molds us - but I never felt I understood it very well. And I'm not referring to theories about how it bends and doubles back, or may exist elsewhere in parallel versions. No, I mean ordinary, everyday time, which clocks and watches assure us passes regularly: tick-tock, click-clock. Is there anything more plausible than a second hand? And yet it takes only the smallest pleasure or pain to teach us time's malleability. Some emotions speed it up, others slow it down; occasionally, it seems to go missing - until the eventual point when it really does go missing, never to return.”
― Julian Barnes, The Sense of an Ending

2 more days before i return to London.

I love law, and the freedom of studying abroad ― but if given a choice i'd choose to remain at a particular point in time when i am here. Home, but suspended between London and Singapore. If given a choice i'd stay at Christmas 2011 forever.

Sunday, January 01, 2012
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Happy new year, everyone! I ended the year on a revolving tower with a few of my closer relatives, going through a collection of Carol Ann Duffy's poems with my cousin. I remember feeling very blessed. 2011 was an exceptional year. It will be remembered as the year i travelled solo, and juggled shifts for two exciting part-time jobs. It will be remembered as the year i got my driving license (thank you, God), and the year i did bikram yoga every single day of the week. Most importantly, 2011 will be remembered as the year i made one of the biggest decisions in my life.. and the course of my life changed indefinitely as a result.

To God, to my ever loving family, to my friends, and to everyone who walked into my life and made a mark in my heart - thank you for making it such an amazing year. May 2012 be the year that we find what we have been looking for all this while, and if not, see God's hand in that aspect of our lives. He knows what is ahead of us, and He loves us more than we can comprehend.

Valentine by Carol Ann Duffy

Not a red rose or a satin heart.

I give you an onion.
It is a moon wrapped in brown paper.
It promises light
like the careful undressing of love.

Here.
It will blind you with tears
like a lover.
It will make your reflection
a wobbling photo of grief.

I am trying to be truthful.

Not a cute card or a kissogram.

I give you an onion.
Its fierce kiss will stay on your lips,
possessive and faithful
as we are,
for as long as we are.

Take it.
Its platinum loops shrink to a wedding-ring,
if you like.

Lethal.
Its scent will cling to your fingers,
cling to your knife.

Friday, December 30, 2011
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I love, I love, I love, I love the way you hold me~ ^^

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