Monday, January 28, 2008
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Perhaps disappointment and despair kept me alittle longer in bed this morning.
Today lasted longer than i thought it would. Im hopeless lah.
P.S Have i HAVE I mentioned how happy i am that Djokovic won!!!
♥ 10:54 PM
Friday, January 25, 2008
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Pour down like rain
Come and touch me again
Lord let Your presence fall on meIm thankful for my results.
Im thankful that the week is over.
The release of the O's results this year made me feel a drastic combination of different emotions. It was one of the weirdest feelings i've ever experienced. Our teachers keep telling all of us that we have the potential and academic capability. But for certain cases i witnessed that day, it goes to show that things don't always turn out to be as expected. I don't like it at all when hard work and effort doesn't produce desired results. Or when your very best just isn't good enough. I know i sound incredibly weird, feeling so strongly about things that don't concern me. But then again it makes me wonder how I would feel if i was forced into that position. It makes me wonder how i would feel at this time of the year in 2009. Im too afraid to think.
My dad got this email about Bill Gates' 11 rules of life.
He printed it out for me the day before the release of the O level results
Rule Number 1? Life is not fair. Get used to it.I realize my daddy knows me extremely well.
And im hoping to bear that in mind when i get my results next year.
♥ 6:11 PM
Sunday, January 20, 2008
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I did this three times and i got the same result.
Im offended!!
♥ 8:52 PM
Saturday, January 19, 2008
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If home is where the heart is,
then my home is where you areIts amazing how
desperately i grasp on to the fact that the 'weekends are approaching'. Even more so the increasing amount of times I can't help but to count down to the number of days to Saturday. While others 'sieze the day', i 'sieze the weekends'. I know i am not exactly living each day to the fullest, but on certain days you just wish the 24 hours would pass alittle faster.
And if anything, im thankful that the week is over.
I realize i've never quite appreciated how nice and quiet our classroon balcony can be. And thus explains the increasing amount of time i plan to spend in there. Maybe school is bringing out the Radley-like loner tendencies in me - but the thing is, its great sometimes not to think about these things.
Seeing people you've come to know and love on the Straits times obituaries is the worst kind of feeling you can ever get from anything.
Funerals are depressing.
♥ 9:56 AM
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
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Am i losing my mind?
♥ 11:11 PM
Sunday, January 13, 2008
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I know from the sound of your breathing
Exactly what you are feelingI saw two guys watching porn on their PSPs on the mrt today. It was just, really weird. For goodness sake!! Sometimes i wonder if people are doing such things on purpose. I mean the least you can do is to watch it at home ..or something. I dont know, it's just one of the things you shouldnt be doing in public.
Studying at Esplanade didnt go too well.
The new paper was more interesting than my text,
so i decided to read that instead.
4 tests next week and i spent the whole Sunday afternoon reading newspapers.
Seriously, well done :/
Service on saturday gave me a headache.
I couldnt understand what the pastor was talking about.
The party after that was..not so good. We left early.
I got this from St Andrew's, i like it alot:
6, 470, 816, 671 people in the world, it makes you wonder how God pays attention to each and every single one of them. On some days i find it difficult to trust that God will be there in every step of the way. I shouldnt be having such thoughts, but i'm afraid.Psalm 23:4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
♥ 9:00 PM
Friday, January 11, 2008
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DistractionMy mum decided to do abit of tidying up today. Unfortunately she also found all my sister's hidden clothes and pairs of shoes. Both of them started calling/texting me furiously during lessons.
I really don't like being caught in between the two of them.
Extra lessons doesn't feel like it these days, it just feels like part of the (terrible) cirriculum. Not that i enjoy spending extra time at school, but i don't deny that on some days these lessons are actually semi-productive. Or maybe i've been too preoccupied to realize just how much could be done during the few hours in the afternoon.
I also went through a round of extremely amusing interview this week.
As an interviewer.
Me: Rank from the most important to the least important:
School, Choir, Family and Friends
Sec 1 interviewee: Uh. Family, School..Choir then Friends?
Me: You put your friends last!?
Me: Do you have anything else to add?
Sec 1 interviewee: Yeah your interview questions are very difficult.
Hahahahah.
I realize i've drifted away from quite alot of my friends this year. Without knowing it. I dont even see them that often anymore. Bryan calls, we talk for about three seconds before i put down because he calls when im supposed to be doing work so i keep getting distracted when he's talking. I dont even know quite what to say. Apologies made but no promises that things will get better. Because im not even sure how things will be like from now.
Maybe studying to kill a mockingbird is making me more and more like Boo Radley.
Oh no.
Lou reminded me about the NYAA award. I meet all the requirements, but i have no time to find all the relevant people by next tuesday. Really, dont feel like thinking about it.
♥ 10:51 PM
Sunday, January 06, 2008
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Being with you here makes me sane
I fear i'll go crazy if you leave my side"The saddest people i've ever met in life are the ones who don't care deeply about anything at all. Passion and satisfaction go hand in hand and without them, any happiness is only temporary, because there's nothing to make it last. - Nicholas Sparks, Dear John.
Today I saw a guy wearing a t-shirt with this slogan that says:
"The worst day of my life is my best day at school"Hmm. Hahaha. Its monday tomorrow.
I'll visit Esplanade more often.
♥ 8:50 PM
Saturday, January 05, 2008
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We'll save it for another daySurvey: "I enjoy School."I think the idea of having a 'strongly agree' option is almost, laughable.
Start of School term: Awful, Terrible, Upsetting, Unbearable, Worrying.
Pick your favourite adjective?
First Choir practice of the year:
OK.
Really, really don't feel like talking about it.
):
Classes are, okay i guess. Pretty much like last year. I've come to enjoy tuition lessons (much) more than school, which really doesn't make sense.
Chem tuition, i would have died laughing.
(Qn: Name the gas evolved and describe a test to confirm its identity)
Some guy: No gas has been evolved. This is a trick question!Then there was duty at the Children's Ministry:
"When i fall down You pick me up
When I am dry You fill my cup
You are my all in all"
James. He is uh, hopeless at colouring. He kept crying and throwing the toys around. I was literally
begging him to calm down. He reminds me of another Mr J i know. Haha. :)
Still living off Decolgen. Maybe if i start thinking that it's the main reason why i had such a miserable time for the past three days, school will get better.
♥ 9:08 PM
Tuesday, January 01, 2008
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Remind us all of what we used to beOkay so i managed to spend the entire day sitting around at home, staring into space and allowing my hands to turn cold. Its terrible how school manages to generate a sense of fear in me all the time.
Dont. Feel. Like. Going. To. School.
):
I dont know how December ended, but then again it just did. Im not sorry for the way i spent the holidays, i believe i have made the best out of it. Not in the academic area, but in other aspects of my life which i consider just as - if not, much more important. I think i've learnt alot in the past year. About love, about people, about letting go and moving on.
Like the year before, I ended 2007 pretty unsure of what to do, what to improve on, what to expect. And if i have to make a new year resolution, i want to end 2008 feeling happier and more confident of what 2009 holds.
And i want to continue this journey growing closer to God.
♥ 7:32 PM
